Being Positive Person

If you are thinking about how to get back your ex girlfriend, there are five simple strategies that you can use to get her back. While implementing these strategies does not guarantee that you will get her back, it does increase your chances.

The first thing that you can try doing to get back your ex girlfriend is to not chase after her. What this means is you need to break off all contact with her. That you initiate, no more phone calls or texts in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. You want to stay away from places that she visits frequently, if it is a place both of you enjoy cut back on how often you show up. Chasing after her is going to annoy her, let her be the one who comes back to you.

The second thing that you can do is to move on with your life. You want to work on making yourself a better person, rather than focusing on her. Work on improving the things that she was first attracted to, but also work on creating new interests and friends. You can also work on your weaknesses to help make yourself a better person. If you can afford to lose some weight, go to the gym and burn some fat, if you had an anger problem try working on anger management.

The third thing that you have to do when trying to get back ex girlfriend is to let go of all the negative feelings that you currently have. After a break up it is normal to feel hurt and angry, but you need to get over these emotions and gain a positive attitude, this can help make it easier to move forward and turn yourself into a better person. One-way to let go of those angry feelings is to write a letter to your ex explaining how you feel, get everything off your chest in the letter, but do NOT send the letter. Rather than sending the letter you want to watch it burn to help release those feelings.

The fourth thing that you can work on doing is being thankful for the things that you currently have in your life. Every morning that you wake up take a moment to think about the things that you still have in your life, such as friends that acre about you or a family to spend the holidays with, Being thankful for the little things in life helps turn you into appositive person instead of bitter one.

If you are unhappy in aspects of your life outside of your marriage, does that affect your relationship? Stress can be a huge issue inside the marriage, with such subjects as money, sex and child rearing causing internal stress. But if you're not happy outside your marriage it may have an impact on it.

There are lots of stressors out there that aren't based in your relationship at home. If you're in a bad job that's making you miserable it can have a really big impact on a marriage. This is quite a big problem for a lot of people as they struggle to make ends meet.

These issues are not from inside the marriage but that doesn't mean it's not going to cause marital problems because it certainly can create an environment for them. Problems such as depression, sexual dysfunctions and frustration may arise from these external stressors, and then the disagreements start over such things as sex and finances. It may appear to the stressed spouse that these are marital problems when in fact they are coming from their internal stresses over external pressures.

It is important as a couple to work through these issues. Many couples do not need or can not afford marriage counseling, but they do need to sit down and try to get to the root of the problems together. Allowing personal issues to enter your marriage is truly inevitable, you are both individuals who will feel stress and experience life problems, and of course they will come into the marriage. The importance is to truly understand the underlying issues and solve them together. It may require your support, but you can do what it takes together to make things right.

A real problem will arise if the stressed spouse won't talk about what is happening or becomes truly depressed. This might be a situation where individual counseling would be a good thing, this would enable them to verbalize what's occurring to someone else, enabling understanding. This may be the way to get to the root of the issues and help solve the marriage problems arising from one person's stress.

Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder, so here is some long distance relationship advice to keep you two together and make your relationship last. There are additional hurdles when you are separated from your mate by miles and travel time, so let us discuss overcoming them.

Depending on the situation that has separated you from your loved one by a long distance, you may be content to just keep the relationship alive. The truth is, though, with a little help you can maybe even make it thrive.

The first thing for you to do is make sure the two of you are in agreement on the basics of the relationship. By basics I mean:

• You are in love and in a serious relationship with each other
• You both would like the relationship to endure through the time you are apart
• You both agree that you are not going to see other people during this time apart

The last point may seem like a no brainer, but I actually had a friend once who had a long distance relationship with a bright, attractive and dedicated woman. During that time he was telling me of his exploits while he was away and I asked if he was still with the woman I knew. His response was "an out of town fling is not cheating". I was floored, and apparently she found out about his escapades and did not agree with him. They broke up.

Needless to say, this long distance relationship advice is for people who both feel the relationship has the potential to be life long.

With that behind us, analyze the communication skills of both you and your partner. Consider how you intend to communicate while apart. Telephone calls are probably OK because I am guessing you two know each other well enough to understand "body language" even over the phone.

In today's world of electronic communication, understand a common saying in the computer world:

"It can take years to develop a relationship, but only one misunderstood email to destroy it."

There is no tone or inflection in an email or text message to let the other person know that you are joking or that what you (mis) typed is not what you meant for real. There can also be time lags between the communication that can really let a persons imagination run wild and blood boil hot.

So be careful how you communicate to ensure there is no miscommunication that could leave wounded feelings, even for a short time.

Here is the flip side of that coin, though. If you can get your communication style worked out well between you two then you can actually end up with a stronger relationship than most people who are physically together.

Communication is probably the key ingredient to keeping any relationship strong, so if you have that mastered then you are miles ahead of everyone else - pardon the pun.

Another key ingredient to any relationship is trust. Since you cannot "check up" on what your partner is doing on a daily or even weekly basis, you really have to trust each other for any long distance relationship to work.

Therefore, if either of you are the insecure type and have trouble trusting your mate then my advice is to reconsider attempting a long distance relationship. Chances are you will find yourself wondering if the other person is being true to you.

Make sense so far?

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Love relationship advice is for those who found someone to love but find it tough to keep that love alive. Finding someone to love is not always easy, witness the tremendous growth in online dating sites designed to make finding love easier; but to maintain the relationship is where the real work comes in.

Whether you found your love interest at a church social, an online venue, or by cruising the bar scene, that someone special caught your eye and you were intrigued enough to find out more about him or her.

Chances are that the two of you were putting your "best foot forward" as they say in your appearance and behavior while you were getting to know each other. Over time, it is not only difficult to always be looking and acting your best, but the familiarity of the relationship can even breed boredom.

Couples who wish to maintain the relationship need to connect on a more sincere level than just the superficial beginnings of your meet up and dating. This love relationship advice is geared toward transitioning into a long term, happy and rewarding relationship for both of you.

There are many pitfalls you can encounter as your relationship progresses, and this usually happens slowly enough that you do not even realize it is happening. Knowing what to watch out for can help you avoid them.

Here are 3 common traps you want to avoid so you can maintain the spark and attraction between you.

1) Having unrealistic expectations of your mate. When you first meet you really do not know that much about the other person, but if you are attracted to them give them credit for being "perfect" - innocent until proven guilty, you might say.

Over time you learn their foibles and short comings that everyone has and some of these will annoy you. It may even anger you that he or she is not perfect like you hoped.

You need to understand that as they forgive your imperfections, you need to forgive theirs. Work on your own character flaws for both your benefit and theirs, certainly. Do not be more critical of them than you want them to be of you.

2) Not communicating effectively. Everyone is wired differently on this, and certainly men differently than women. There is going to have to be give and take; you both may even need to expand your comfort zone in how you express your feelings.

Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings with your partner, especially if something is bothering you enough that it is interfering with your relationship; even making you consider break up.

Always do so in an non confrontational manner and maintain your cool, even if he or she does not.

3) Mistaking sex for love. Over time you will find the physical side of the relationship at odds with the emotional side. They are not the same. Some make the mistake of thinking a lapse in the bedroom component is a sign that the love is no longer strong.

Women and men do not see the same connection between love and sex. Women see the one as just one way of expressing the other. Men may see sex as an expression of their masculinity and the womans interest as an indication of her love for him.

When this issue gets confused in can lead to hurt, anger and stress on the relationship. That is when the communication needs to kick in and the both of you discuss, calmly, just what is going on in your minds.

A lot of things change as we age, both physically and with the complexity of our lives. These changes affect each partner differently and as tensions increase it takes patience and understanding to work them out.

This is perfectly normal.

Learn how to repair any damage in your marriage or relationship brought on by these or other common traps by getting the best love relationship advice you can.

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Marriages fail for many reasons and there is a case for saying that more marriages fail nowadays because splitting up is easy as there is no longer any stigma attached to divorce. Marriages often fail because the couple don't try to save the marriage or don't know what steps to take to save the marriage. As you are asking "can I save my marriage", you are obviously willing to put effort into saving your marriage; here is some information to help you.

The first thing you need to do is make an honest assessment of your marriage to see if it is worth saving. If you and your spouse still care for each other, it is probable that the breakup of the relationship can be avoided. If there is still love in your marriage, your current difficulties could be a "bad patch" and getting through this time will serve to make your marriage stronger. Facing and overcoming adversity together almost inevitably works to strengthen the bond between the people involved.

This is not the time to start laying blame on your spouse, but it is the time for you to accept and acknowledge blame for your part in the proceedings. You must honestly evaluate what destructive behaviour on your part has contributed to the threatened breakup of your marriage. Maybe you thought your spouse was behaving in an unreasonable way. Could it be that your spouse's behaviour was caused by you being inconsiderate?

If you can accept your faults and commit to altering your bad habits, you will have taken a big step towards saving your marriage, but it takes two to keep a relationship healthy. You can't force your spouse to love you and, if that love has gone, your spouse might not be willing to try to save the marriage. Even if there are children or religious principles involved, a loveless marriage will not last. All you can do is tell your spouse that you recognise where you went wrong, you promise to change, and you are willing to work at making the marriage whole again.

If you and your spouse both agree that there is enough good left in your relationship to enable you to rebuild the marriage, this is the point where you might want to consider getting help from a relationship counsellor. There are many dedicated marriage counsellors to choose from, so you should make sure both you and your spouse are happy with a particular counsellor before you commit to a course of counselling.

If either party is uncomfortable with a counsellor, the counselling sessions will be wasted, so it is essential that you choose carefully. Working with the wrong counsellor can have an adverse effect. It can be particularly damaging if one party feels that the counsellor is taking their spouse's side against them; this situation can create further distance between the couple. You and your spouse must both feel that your counsellor is working to help both of you by offering impartial help and not criticism.

Communication is more than talking to each other. It is more about getting your feelings across effectively, and encouraging your partner to do the same. These tips should help you keep your relationship air cleared.

1. If you have a bone to pick with your partner, invite him / her to sit down. Explain that you don't understand what he / she said or did, and admit that it hurt your feelings, made you angry, or whatever effect it had. Give your partner time to respond, and don't contradict him / her.

"It hurt my feelings when you discussed my weight in front of your mother."

"I felt angry when you told me I spent too much on my mom's birthday."

You may not like what your partner has to say in response, but listen anyway. If what he / she says confuses you, ask him / her to explain.

"Does it matter to you how much I weigh? If it does, can you tell me why?"

"Are you worried about money? I thought we had enough for the gift I bought."

If you discuss your annoyances rationally, you will at least understand what your partner's concerns are.

If you start out with:"Don't you EVER discuss my weight in front of your mother again."

or

"You're such a cheap skate. It seems we spend plenty on your relatives."

you may be justified, but after the yelling and screaming, you won't be any better informed. The disagreement may be aired, but it won't be settled. If you threaten, curse or pout, your partner will be more inclined to dig his / her heels in and feel justified in repeating his / her offensive behavior. If he / she knows how you received his / her words, and that they were hurtful, maybe he / she will act differently in the future.

2. Don't contradict your partner when he / she shares his / her feelings. Don't minimize his / her experience, or tell him / her he /she is exaggerating. Even if you think he /she is wrong, remember, you can only know how you feel, and you won't know his / her feelings until he / she tells you. You can't know exactly how your words or actions feel to someone else unless you let him / her tell you.

"When you say things like that in front of people, it embarrasses me."."

"I didn't realize you felt that way. I didn't interpret her expression as disgust."

"That's how it feels to me. I would appreciate it if you would not comment on my body in public."

is much more constructive than:

"Oh she does not! She knows I'm kidding you! Lighten up!"

3. The silent treatment may have worked on your best friend in high school, but your partner doesn't have any reason to put up with your manipulative behavior for long. Comments such as "you know why I'm mad" and "ask your sister, she heard what you said" may make you feel better, but, again, they aren't informative. We'd all like to think the reason for our anger is universal, and that a person in his / her right mind would understand how we feel without being told. However, your partner may genuinely not know why your mad, sorry, disappointed, or angry with him / her, and if you withhold this information, he / she will lose interest in guessing. Tell him / her the truth in as calm a voice as you can, even if it is obvious to you why you are offended. We have all had different life experiences, and your partner's may not have included events that would inform him / her that his / her behavior is hurtful to some. In short, lack of information, not malice may be behind your partner's hurtful actions.

You ask yourself can this marriage be saved? The answer is yes it can. Marriage is something that no one should enter into, or get out of, lightly. It's a big commitment and once you make it you should be willing to work hard to keep it strong. If your marriage is in hard times and you're wondering: can this marriage be saved? Here are 4 steps that might help you and your marriage.

1.) The first thing you need to is stop all the background noise and ask yourself some hard and life changing questions. Question number one is: do you really in your heart want to save your marriage? This may sound a little crazy but many people will just stay in bad relationships because they think that is just the way it is. If that's the way you feel you will be sabotaging your relationship subconsciously. No one can have a good relationship if deep down inside they don't even want to be in the relationship.

2.) Next, once you've done your soul searching and you've realized that you do want to stay married to your spouse the next thing you need to do is figure out what is wrong with the marriage and what part you have played in what went wrong. This can be hard because it's always easier for us to see the things our partner is doing wrong than it is to see what we have or have not done wrong.

3.) Reality is that both have played a part in the break up of the marriage. It might not always be equal blame, but each partner has contributed to the problems and needs to take responsibility for them. It could be something as simple as not standing up for yourself and letting your partner walk over you like a doormat. Then, finally one day you are fed up with it. Your partner feels completely blindsided because they have always acted that way and you never said anything before so why now?

4.) Once you have taken reasonability for your part in the problem you have to honestly ask yourself, will you be willing to make the necessary changes for the long-term success of your marriage? If you can honestly answer yes to that question the next thing you need to do is talk to your partner and ask them the same things about themselves. If your partner says yes they are wiling to try then your marriage has a good chance for long-term success and happiness.

I can only hope this information helps. There is nothing worse than being trapped in a bad marriage, but you don't want to throw away a potentially good marriage before you really try to make it work. So if you've ever wondered, 'can this marriage be saved' the best place to start is by having a nice long talk with your spouse. It is hard to find that special person. When you do find them you need to hang on tight through the good and the not so good. You need to come together and not break up. Why break up when you can make up? Remember too, making up can be a lot of fun!

A very common missing ingredient for marriages in trouble is a lack of intimacy. For a marriage to be happy there must be a level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical and really embraces the emotional. Ask yourself the question, "does my marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy?"

When your marriage hits troubled waters you must really believe that you can save marriage. If you don't believe that as fact, then there is nothing you can do that will make a bit of difference. So right now, believe that it is possible for you to save your marriage.

1.) Be open and transparent with your spouse. Do you share or do you exclude and keep your emotions and emotional needs locked away and try and deal with things on your own? If you exclude your spouse emotionally, then your marriage lacks intimacy and it's time to get some and start on the road to save your marriage.

2.) Make sure that you're making every attempt possible to share your problems and worries with your spouse. Too often people find themselves worried and preoccupied with a situation. Instead of sharing this situation with their spouse, they decide to try and deal with it on their own. This is a big mistake because it excludes your spouse when you should be including them to help solve the problems together.

3.) Remember, spouses can very easily sense when something is wrong and if you exclude them, they quickly begin to feel shut out and that's when hurt feeling can quickly find its way into a marriage.

4.) The best way to get intimacy into your marriage so that you can save your marriage is to make time for your marriage. In today's world when a thousand and one things can take up your time, not making time for your marriage is a surefire way for a marriage to hit troubled waters. It's no fun discovering that when you were busy with your career or focusing your time on attending to the kids that your marriage just melted away.

5.) Make sure that if you want to save your marriage that you're actively making time for your spouse and your marriage. Once in a while take a afternoon off and have some fun with your spouse. When your spouse realizes that you value them to the extent of changing your schedule to include them, you will begin to see an improved difference in your marriage.

6.) Creating the right amount of intimacy in your marriage so that you can save your marriage will take effort on your part and is a continuing process. Do not make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on automatic. A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to on a regular basis, only then will it thrive and be the happy healthy relationship you always wanted.

Many couples in a relationship go through some sort of conflict at some time or other in their married life. However, it is how that conflict is handled that is the key to a successful relationship. If you have come to a cross roads in your relationship and don' t know which way to turn, then I can empathize with you. A couple of years back I was desperately looking for good relationship advice to save my marriage. The trouble was there was so much conflicting information out there I didn't know what to believe.

Two years on and my marriage is now stronger than ever, Here are just some of the processes that I found that worked to fix my bad relationship.

Understanding problems

When problems do arise it is sometimes because of a deeper meaning. For example, your partner might be really annoyed that you want to stay up and watch late night television, instead of going to bed when they do. However, it is probably not about the fact that your partner doesn't want you to watch TV, but it might be down to the fact that your partner thinks that you don't want to spend as much time with them as you used to. If you are able to recognise these deeper routed problems before they escalate, might help to avoid conflict further down the line.

Changing dynamics

Conflict can be caused through a changing dynamic. So as you go through married life, your circumstances change. The arrival of children into a relationship is a big dynamic change, as is changing your career, or increased workload. These changing circumstances happen in marriage or long term relationship, and are inevitable. However, it is how you deal with that change that will make or break your relationship. You need to acknowledge that a big change has taken place within your relationship and you need to work together, adapt and make that change work for you both.

Communication

Communication is not just about talking! It' s knowing when to talk and when to listen. Many marriages or relationships breakdown when one partner won't listen to the other partner, or vice versa. Set aside time each day to ask your partner how their day has been. If maybe they have had a bad day at work, then let them tell you about it! Act as a sounding board, as your partner might not want you to solve their work problems, but letting them talk to you and getting it off their chest will make them feel a whole lot better, and you will feel happier knowing that your partner feels more at ease.

Understanding conflict within the marriage and how to deal with it, is all part and parcel of married life. However, if you learn to apply these tips to your everyday relationship, then chances are, you will be able to deal with conflict in a much more rational way, perhaps even preventing it before it happens.